I was hoping to write this blog in a quiet place where I would have the space and time to think with no disturbances. A peaceful place surrounded by beautiful flowers and a flowing river would be perfect for me. I need time to myself and a place where I can focus and think through what I really want to say to you.
In reality, I started this blog in the garden as the sun was shining. I had a two-hour slot whilst my daughter and partner went out for a golf lesson. Our days have been hectic this last few months with four of us at home full-time during lockdown.
I started well, I was focused, but then my neighbour came out with her iPad on full volume. I moved indoors and shut the door. My mobile rang, it was the garage to say my car would cost £1650 to repair and they would need to keep it over the weekend! The doorbell rang! My son came in, rushed around, asked for £20 to get his hair cut, emptied the fridge of juice and then left! Half an hour in and this is how far I have got!
We live with the impact of our emotions every minute of every day.
Just in the last half-hour I felt: happy, excited, focused, eager, calm, disappointed, unfocused, annoyed, frustrated, irritated, determined, pleased, angry, confused, upset, worried, panicked, interested, loved, disturbed, supportive, unproductive! Many times over.
Emotions come from situations, experiences, our senses, what we hear (sounds, music), what we see (photographs, objects, views), people, memories, places, lots of things trigger our emotions. Covid-19 has brought with it an array of emotions and has impacted everyone differently. Living with my family 24/7 has been a challenge and a pleasure. Not being able to meet up with friends has been frustrating and upsetting.
When my partner and daughter returned excited and enthused about her golf lesson they asked, “Hello, you ok?” A question we are asked many times each day. Are we really interested, do we listen to the answer, or are we acting on automatic pilot?
To ‘Tune In’ to who we are, what we say and the actions we take we need to be mindful. Emotional Intelligence takes time, reflection, conscious awareness and considered actions. We have choices to how we react in a situation most of the time.
Think back to a recent situation, trigger or message. What was your emotional reaction? Did you consider the consequences or impact it would have?
So why is emotional intelligence important and what actually is it?
Why is Emotional Intelligence important? Because it…
- Increases self-awareness and self-control so you can choose to manage your emotions proactively.
- Enables you to make considered choices and adapt your behaviour in a way to get the best from any situation.
- Gets you to focus on what is important and act reasonably; reducing stress and anxiety.
- Builds healthy and positive relationships, leading to a happier life and chosen path.
- Stops you acting on autopilot all of the time!
I could have easily popped my head over the wall and asked my neighbour to kindly turn down her iPad, or shouted, “Turn that down I’m trying to work!” I could have got upset or angry on the phone to the lady from the garage. “How much!! That’s extortionate!” It’s not her fault my car is broken. I could have asked my son, to give me some space, “I’m working and need to get this blog written!” Instead, I managed that internal voice into a positive place and kept calm. All of these relationships are important to me, a little thought, reflection and adaptation on my part achieved a much more positive and less stressful outcome for all. Taking time to stop and think about your response can help to reduce stress and upset!
What is Emotional Intelligence?
Emotional Intelligence is the ability to understand and manage your own emotions, and those of the people around you. People with a high degree of emotional intelligence know what they are feeling, what their emotions mean, and how these emotions can affect other people. There are four keys elements of Emotional Intelligence;
Have a think. Are you a happy person, sad, talkative, quiet, serious, jokey? When are you at your best? What drives your moods? What effect do you have on other people? Once we understand ourselves more we can learn to adapt and broaden our thinking and language.
Getting along well with others is important in life. Being sensitive to the feelings of others, thinking before acting. Getting the best outcome by managing your impulses and being able to handle your responses effectively can make a huge difference to a situation.
This is about hearing what the other person is really saying. Caring about what others are going through, picking up on the mood of the room. Most of us listen with the intent to reply. Having no social awareness means people keep on talking whatever, oblivious to cues and hints.
Making new friends, keeping existing relationships, building networks takes focused energy. It’s important to take the time to listen and build trust with people. Being interested and interesting is key to finding common ground and building strong relationships that last.
By being consciously aware of your feelings, emotions, actions and triggers can really help you to be your best self and seeing things from a different viewpoint can help you make better decisions.
There are some key techniques to help you master emotional intelligence. Whether at work, home or out socially it’s an important skill to recognise and practice.
I will be discussing this topic further in my upcoming webinar; it really can make a huge difference. It would be great if you could join me. Why don’t you try and practice it prior to joining and bring along your experiences to share?
Hopefully you can join me on:
Wednesday 30th September 2020 at 10.30am to 11.30am (BST):
- An introduction to emotional intelligence as a concept to increase mindfulness
- A deep dive into the four elements and why they matter
- Experience practical examples and exercises to apply emotional intelligence in daily life
- Increase your self-awareness; ‘tuning in’ to your best self.
To register onto the webinar please following this link: https://co-creation.group/event/co-creation-emotional-intelligence-webinar-wednesday-30th-september-2020/
I look forward to seeing you there.